It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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