I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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