So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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