I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
