THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
