zippers are such a cool invention
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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