Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize