he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize