When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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