whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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