Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
oh god the rape fog is back!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
