yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
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he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
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Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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