I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
