but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
