based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
