Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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