They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
