its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
