I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
