no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
