im drinking this country out of the recession.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
