Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
