Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
