It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's official drugs can't kill me
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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