are you still at the devil's house?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There r osticjed everywhere
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
