Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
