his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
