i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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