history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
