Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
