Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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