You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
