his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How external is "for external use only"?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
