I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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