Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
