Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
whose ass print is on the piano?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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