escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
