It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
