I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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