I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
