I just pynch a tree in the face
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
