marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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