We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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