first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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