Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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