all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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