3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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