I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I need to calm my uterus...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
