i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
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I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
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Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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