I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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