i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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