a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
We smell like vodka and hangover
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