Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
