Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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