I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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