How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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