threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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