Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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