its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
